Baby going down the obstacle course with encouragement

Professional love: the foundation of nursery teaching

You may know a little or a lot about working in Early Years – a place where no two days are the same and the work you do has a big impact on families and young children. But have you ever stopped to wonder what’s really at the heart of it all? What truly makes early childhood education so special?

Well, here’s something that might surprise you: it’s love. Yep, love but in a professional sense.

“Love” probably isn’t a word you’re used to hearing in a workplace context. But for those of us working with babies and young children every day, love is not only appropriate – it’s essential. And understanding professional love could change the way you think about nursery teaching forever.

Poppie Ephgrave - Degree Lecturer - TeachingIn this article, Poppie Ephgrave, Degree Lecturer at LEYF and experienced Early Years Teacher explores:
  • What professional love actually means
  • Why it’s vital for children’s emotional wellbeing and learning
  • How to show love in everyday nursery practice while keeping the right professional boundaries

So, whether you’re new to early years, have been doing this a while, or are thinking if this is the career choice for you, this is your chance to dig into what really makes this important work so powerful.

Over to Poppie…

Introduction

When you first hear the phrase “professional love”, it might make you pause or feel uncomfortable. Love? At work? In early years? Really? Love is not always something we typically associate with the workplace. However, in early childhood education and care (ECEC) settings we should – and we must. Because the truth is, love is at the very heart of what we do, and it is something the children within our nurseries absolutely deserve.

We are not just showing up to tick developmental boxes or keep the children busy with messy play until it is time for them to be collected. We are responsible for forming meaningful relationships and attachments with them. As early years teachers, we are there to comfort them when they cry and to cheer them on as they try something new or risky. We support them with all the big emotions they are learning to navigate, offering a safe space for them to explore these feelings. This is exactly what professional love entails.

I remember a time when I was working in a baby room during the COVID-19 pandemic. Many children were settling into nursery for the first time, and for some, it was their first experience outside of their immediate family. They did not need a structured activity plan or a developmental assessment. They needed closeness, warmth and to feel safe. It was during this time in my career that I truly felt the emotional depth of this role, something no one had warned me about – but in the best possible way. The relationships built with those families still exist today, five years later, even though I have since left the setting.

So what exactly is professional love? And how can we bring it into our daily practice while remaining grounded and within our professional boundaries? Let’s explore.

What is Professional Love?

We are often trained to think of professionalism as something detached or clinical. However, Dr. Jools Page challenges this notion and her perspective is now increasingly embedded in early years practice. Dr. Page defines professional love as the warm, affectionate, and responsive relationships that adults form with children in their care, all within ethical and professional boundaries.

Professional love is not about being ‘too soft’ with children or ‘overstepping the line’. It is about recognising that love, in a professional sense, is a vital component of high-quality early years education. As Dr. Page explains, it is the kind of love that helps babies and young children feel secure, valued, and understood.

Other early years professionals, such as Tamsin Grimmer, also explore the concept of professional love, describing it as being tuned in to the needs of the children. This means being emotionally available and creating strong attachments, achieved through simple, everyday acts of care. For example, eye contact, gentle touch, kind words and consistent presence.

Dr Page’s research also highlights the perspectives of parents, many of whom expressed deep appreciation for the loving and affectionate relationships their children developed with their teachers. For parents, professional love provided reassurance, especially during transitional moments like morning drop-off. They value that their children were being emotionally supported by teachers who truly knew and cared for them.

Ultimately, professional love is foundational to helping children feel confident, secure, and welcomed in nursery settings. When we understand and embrace professional love, it becomes powerful in supporting children’s development and overall wellbeing.

Why Professional Love matters

Professional love matters because relationships are at the core of early childhood development. When we look at attachment theory, developed by key figures such as John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, we understand that secure attachments are essential for healthy personal, social, emotional and cognitive growth.

Secure attachment refers to the safe, responsive bond between a child and their caregiver. When children feel loved, safe, and secure, their brains are more open and ready to learn. We must meet those foundational emotional needs first; only then can meaningful learning take place.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

In a nursery setting, secure attachment might look like a child confidently exploring the room because they know a trusted adult is nearby. It might also show up in a child managing a conflict with a peer, drawing on emotional regulation skills modelled by warm and caring adults.

Strong attachments and loving relationships also play a crucial role in safeguarding children. This goes beyond protection from harm, it includes creating a safe, respectful environment where children feel heard and valued. When children trust the adults around them, they are more likely to speak up about things that make them feel uncomfortable.

In practice, professional love is shown through hugs (when appropriate and consented), gentle and reassuring words, eye contact, and being genuinely present and engaged. When teachers show children that they are excited by their stories, interested in their ideas, and responsive to their emotions, children thrive. They learn that their feelings matter and that they are valued.

This I believe, is not only the foundation for learning, but it is the foundation for life.

Professional Love in everyday practice  

Professional love does not need to be grand gestures; it lives in the everyday interactions we have with children and their families. You see it in the way teachers greet each child by name, crouch down to their level, and genuinely listen and connect. It is in the comfort we offer when a child is missing home, or when we model how to regulate breathing to help a child calm down.

During daily routines, professional love is shown in the gentle way we change nappies through chatting with the child, respecting their body, and maintaining a warm connection. It is also seen in the encouragement we offer as children begin to self-serve their meals and drinks, supporting the development of their independence.

In play, professional love might look like fully engaging in a child’s role play with enthusiasm or simply sitting beside a child who is quietly building a castle out of blocks, offering presence without intrusion.

You will also see it during transitions, such as going outside to the garden or settling in at the start of the day. These moments can be challenging for young children, and we respond with calm voices, clear explanations, and reassuring tones that make all the difference.

At its core professional love is about being tuned in to a child’s needs, being responsive, and showing them through our actions, that they matter. It should not be performative; it comes from a genuine place of care. It is not something that is taught, it is something that is felt.

How close is too close? Understanding boundaries in Professional Love

It is completely normal to wonder how close is too close? The key to professional love is that it is intentional and respectful. We do not overstep boundaries, but we also do not shut down emotion or connection with the children and families we work with. Sounds complicated, right? Let’s explore how to find that balance.

One of the most important things to remember is that being professional does not mean being cold. It is being self-aware and understanding the difference between personal affection and child-centred pedagogy. Boundaries are not about restriction; they provide a framework that allows us to offer love safely. Not just for the children but for ourselves too. This is where the 3 P’s: Personal, Professional and Private come in handy.

Your professional self is who shows up for the children and families you are working with. You can be emotionally available, but always within safe and respectful boundaries. Your personal self, such as your humour, interests and kindness can absolutely come into your practice but, your private life stays yours. For example, you would not share your personal social media accounts, personal problems you may be experiencing or breach confidentiality when a parent opens up. This protects not only your wellbeing, but the integrity of your role. We all deserve a life outside of work.

Some key boundaries to remember are always ask for consent before physical contact, be mindful of favouritism (every child deserves equal emotional access), and stay present and connected without becoming emotionally dependent on the job. Professional love is about meeting the needs of the child, not seeking to meet your own needs through your relationship with them.

When we reflect on and respect 3 P’s, we protect the integrity of our care and create a space for professional love to truly flourish.

Conclusion – The power of Professional Love

The work we do in early childhood education and care is deeply emotional, and that is exactly what makes it so powerful. Yes, it can be tiring at times, but it is also full of joy, connection, and the kind of moments that stay with, not only the children, but their families, are with you for life.

We should never be afraid to show professional love. It is a strength, not a weakness of our profession. It is what helps children feel secure, confident, and ready to learn. It is what makes your role so meaningful and impactful.

If you ever find yourself doubting its importance, think of the child who lights up when you walk into the room, or the one who runs to you when they are hurt or feeling unsafe. That is professional love in action, and it matters more than we often realise.

References and Further Reading

Grimmer, T. (2024) ‘Is there a place for love in an early childhood setting?’ Early Years. 44 (3-4) pp. 525-538. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1080/09575146.2023.2182739

Page, J. (2017) ‘Reframing infant-toddler pedagogy through a lens of professional love: Exploring narratives of professional practice in early childhood settings in England.’ Contemporary Issues in Early Childhood. 18 (4). pp. 387-399. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1177/1463949117742780

Page, J. (2018) ‘Characterising the principles of Professional Love in early childhood care and education.’ International Journal of Early Years Education. 26 (2). pp. 125-142. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1080/09669760.2018.1459508

Page, J. (2011) ‘Do mothers want professional carers to love their babies?’ Journal of Early Childhood Research. 9 (3). pp. 310-323. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1177/1476718X11407980

ThemPra (2015)  The Three P’s – The professional, personal, and private self of the social pedagogue. Available at: The 3 Ps – ThemPra Social Pedagogy

Subscribe to our mailing list

 

Get in touch with us

"*" indicates required fields

Name*
What are you interested in?*
Want to stay in the loop about all things Early Years careers? Select ‘yes’ to join our mailing list